Asked and answered: August’s backlog

Just a monthly of all questions asked through my tumblrJuly is here.

If you could describe yourself in one sentence/ word what would it be
I don’t know at all; and that says more than I could ever.

So when i first saw you streaming you were a pretty shy girl. When you got your cam you didn’t even want to be on there for more than 2 seconds. Now you’re so outgoing and fun. What was that journey like?

Very painful, but very forgiving. Most of my growth and life experiences occurred in the last four years, which overlapped with the time I started streaming and entered the community. It was really small back then, so everything felt more amplified; each word anyone said was more damaging. I wouldn’t recommend anyone else to try going through a teenage transition in front of such a critical community–but it was an eye-opening experience for a girl who had been somewhat coddled her entire life, in the sense that I’ve never felt such unwarranted hate in such frequent barrages.

It’s a great way to see the stuff you’re really made of. Some people hate it: they can’t take it, give up and pursue something that was more suited to their growth. For me it forced me to be better, be stronger; more resilient. It taught me the opinions that mattered, and the voices that didn’t. To learn and be able to create such a dichotomy at a younger age than most people definitely accelerated all aspects of my life.

The nights you spend believing that you are in the most unbearable pain in your life are the ones that will teach you the most. Will show you how much you’re capable of to never feel anything like that again.

Favorite Childhood memory?
Waking up in the mornings to the smell of spaghetti and steaks on the grill; garlic bread in the oven and my father chastising my mother. My brothers all home and the only undertone of loud voices being excitement, not anger.

The way my father looked at me like I was the most precious thing he’s ever had, even when I fucked up. When I was someone’s entire life, pride, and joy.

Being my father’s daughter, really.

Favorite memories from high school
Standing on the football field on my senior homecoming night, in my pink Sherri Hill dress with my entire family on the bleachers and oldest brother by my side. The entire cast of my highschool’s popularity cast lined up to my right. The crippling anticipating of who won, and the voices of who I thought were my closest friends in my head saying that I couldn’t.

Three different bouquets of roses in my hands; and my name being called. The crown they placed on my head, and the scepter they handed me. My bestfriend as my king, and riding around the track in decorated carts. Proving to everyone but me that being ugly was never a sign of failure.

Most important things in a relationship
Compatibility in totality. For me: communication, loyalty and very good sex.

Most important advice you can give
Everything you’ve ever been taught has no validity unless you’ve understood enough to teach someone else.

What’s the story behind the jennyeatsbabies name and be completely honest and blunt
Sophomore year I was known in my class for telling dead baby jokes. We walked into English, and read Jonathan Swift’s A Modest Proposal. After that it became a running gag that I ate babies.

Do you like beards?
Not particularly. But only because I like kissing very much, and they’re not very conducive to long hours of that.
What is your biggest fear?
Never having a family.
Sharing my feelings with someone I really liked, and then later finding out he had told everyone else in a drunken moment. It was more hurtful and extremely saddening, really. To learn how someone you like could ever disregard your feelings enough to use them as amusement.

I don’t really get embarrassed, to be honest. Growing up I’ve learned to accept that I will fuck up, and to learn to either enjoy it or learn from it when I do. Life in stride, maybe?

what motivates you to hit the gym?
Being the best I can be, physically. But I struggle with it a lot. My weight is an extremely sensitive subject for me–but being stronger than I have ever been in my entire life is empowering.

“No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.” Socrates

how do I stop taking people for granted?
Every time someone does something for you, imagine doing the same for them, but under their circumstances.. Understand the thought, sacrifice, and how much you truly appreciate it. Find a way to give it back.
Why are you so lovely?
I’m not.

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