Asked and answered: the July short version.

How is it like being a hot grill on the internet? People say you are pretty and stuff all the time

I’ve been on the internet since I was four. After awhile, you realize the opinions and facades of humanity you see online are all just runners in a very special Olympics. None of it actually matters. In the real world, I’m just an average asian girl and learning to be OK with that (my mom just kind of isn’t).

So I have a crush on a supervisor at work, but she has a boyfriend who also works at the same place. Is it worth it to try and pursue her despite her having a man or should I forget about her?

People hold a very high value to being able to make their own decisions. If you like someone, and respect them as a human being, you should also respect the decisions they make independently of you. She chose to be in a relationship, and who to be in a relationship with.

I think the more important question, really, is why you have no respect for people and their relationships.

Jenny, is there such a thing as moving too fast in a relationship? If both partners are comfortable with the pace the relationship is developing, should it matter? Or is it possible that both lack the foresight to perceive the consequences and are letting the heat of the moment dictate their actions?

The pace of a relationship is determined by the speed of the parties involved. If they’re all travelling at the same speed, then the relationship is developing at the correct pace. There’s no universal speed limit.

Relationships are just you making decisions with someone other than yourself. Sometimes you make a lot of shitty ones before you make a few great ones–but it doesn’t really mean there’s a wrong or a right. If people want to get married for weeks after meeting, who gives a fuck?

You are super smart. Is there anything you like to research in your free time? Sciences, hard or social? Arts, visual or performing?

I’m a huge humanities buff. Hard history, mythology, anthropology, theology. I don’t have much talent, just an obsession for literary connections and old things (this is a jab at my dating life, oops).

So how are you single?

Any man I would call my boyfriend, would have to be someone I’d also consider calling my husband. I’m not interested in investing the little time I have into something I don’t believe in.

What are you looking for in a man?

My dick. In all seriousness? Someone who can keep pace. Someone with enough ambition to rival mine. Someone who makes me laugh as hard as they make me cum.

just curious because i look up to you and you are living my goal life but what do you do for a living?

I work for a video game playtesting firm. “Research Analyst” is the title they gave me on my business card, but I do everything necessary. Survey programming, deck design, proposals, recruiting–it’s not about what you do. It’s about how well people think you do it.

Whats your biggest sexual turn on?

Superficially: Aggression. Dominance.
Intrinsically: Giving a fuck.

Do you think it’s possible to have a great relationship without great sex (i.e. girl orgasm).

Sure. Some people just aren’t into sex. I’m sure there are some people who have great lives without cats, too. But I think cats are really fucking great. Like really fucking great.

are you more into mucular men with a sixpack or the normal “average” looking guy? or doesnt it matter at all for you?

My personal favorite is tall, lean, and muscular. It doesn’t really matter, but it seems to be everyone I’m dating nowadays.

how do you get yourself to write when there are so many distractions around constantly?

Writing isn’t really a choice for me. It all just feels like some level of mental masturbation; or the way a cat is so obsessed with licking its own fur. Writing is more compulsion–this time, it’s just public. I have journals, and a tumblr going back five years.

I was wondering how you got into writing?

It was sort of something I always did. I’m not good at much else.

What’s the best personality trait you look for in people

I like people on a basic level. Most of the company I keep are those I find with integrity. Intelligence in places I don’t have. People who offer intellect, happiness, or add to my well-being.

Dear Jenny, reading your writing has made me feel again. up until i read your wok I use to keep all emotions buried deep down inside but because of you I can now feel them again. I can relate to you on a lot and I have hope that for me to it will get better. Thank you

This means the world. Thanks, you.

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